Day 9 - Dredging up the Past

I haven’t really touched on this much, and I am not sure how much detail I will give…

Remember when I left my old employer (about 18mos ago), it wasn’t pleasant.  I was angry, I felt hurt and betrayed, and I wanted nothing to do with those people, ever again.  I deleted all of them from my FB and my phone, never had any further contact.

Well, I was always close with one of my former patients.  He was like a grandfather to me, especially when I worked there.  He would bring me and the Manager (my boss, I was her assistant) flowers, small gifts and occasionally we would all go out to lunch with his daughters, as he was in his late 80s.  Even though I no longer worked with D,  I would still send him flowers on his birthday, a tradition my boss and I started when I worked there.

This past April, right after my birthday, B (The former patient), took a turn for the not so good.  He had been hospitalized and brought home.  His daughters wanted D and I to come spend time with him.  It had been over a yr since I had seen B, and I missed him.  But the awkward part was going to be seeing D… she and I had not spoken in almost 14mos.  

Now, when I worked at the office, D and I were super close.  I was her assistant, and she ran both practices.  I was known to float around and cover for her when she was on vacation.  More than that though, we were like family.  She was the Mistress of Ceremony in my wedding, and she had helped me through a lot, which is why when I left, it was super hard.  I was resentful.

Seeing her in May of this past year was strained.  And we have seen kept up with seeing B every Thursday in the nursing home.  Sometimes we go to dinner at the golf course, but mostly at the nursing home.  While D and I can make small talk, and discuss some recent events, it is not the same, nor will it ever be.

She has left the office also.  There is talk that in the next year or so, she may go into consulting, which is something she and I had talked about doing together a few years ago.  She has mentioned maybe me helping out with this, part time.

I am so conflicted.  As I have stated, when I left the company, it was not on good terms with her.  Now, was she at times a good leader and someone I admired, of course?  I really respected her at time, but there were other times I did not.  It’s hard to explain.

J thinks I would really like it, maybe even love it.  But I am not sure.  I think it would be fun, but I would have to see things on paper, and I am not sure I could handle her as my boss again…

I know this is all over the place, I just needed to get some things out there…. Maybe express some things I have kept bottled up.