Playing "Catch Up"

Blogher

Day 3

Sorry for another “deep” post, but I have a lot on my mind this week, and feel like I just need to get it out there… not for anyone really other than myself.

I’ve found myself really evaluating the people I am surrounding myself with lately, and I am not sure I’m happy with the mix.  I feel like I have reached the age where I am past the point of needing a lot of people to make me happy.  I do like to go out, be social, meet new people, etc.  But there are times I just want my core group of friends around, and I really just want to be myself without worrying about making the “right” impression.

I also feel like I have drifted away from some of the people I was close to, people who were there for me through thick and thin, saw me at my worst and picked me up.  I miss those people.   

I know life happens, people get busy and change, but I want the weekly phone calls, the random FB posts or emails, or even just stopping by to say HI.   I have some pretty amazing people in my life, and I feel like I don’t get to enjoy them as much as I would like.

And then there are the Acquaintances. The people who you meet, you “fb friend” and chat with on occasion.  But do they really know YOU?  Are they really helping me to become a better person and friend? I just went through my Friends list on FB (which is small to start due to cutting people I don’t really associate with outside of FB) and honestly, there were maybe 10people I could say that I miss hanging out with.  Sad…

 I feel like now more than ever, especially since I am no longer single, I am meeting more guys who just don’t care that I have a BF.  I think they are really great people, and I see nothing wrong with girls and guys being just friends, but I feel like the old saying is true: “the moment you stop looking is when people see you”.  Meaning I know I am going to get hit on at work, I work in a bar.  But I am finding more and more guys that know I have a BF, but still want to go out for dinner, drinks, etc.  And while I think they are nice people, I am declining all the time, for fear they will get the wrong idea, even in groups.  

So now that I have rambled again, I am off to go send some emails and reach out to some people I don’t feel like I appreciate the way I should…