I touched on this a little bit in previous posts. 25 was a year that I would like to erase so many parts of, but also a year that I am thankful for, as I have learned so much. Without that year, I honestly do not believe I would be the woman I am today. A woman who is finally figuring out who she is and what she wants our of her life.
Like I said, it was a year of many pain and lessons:
*My divorce was final that year. I was completely blindsided by this, begged and pleaded for it not to happen. Am I happy I divorced... NO. Honestly, while I learned a lot about myself, I think those lessons could have been learned through separation. I do not believe divorce was the answer, nor should have been an option for J and I. But alas, it is what it is, and try as I may wish, I cannot change what happened, nor things that may have happened in the months afterward.
*Losing my Job. I thought I would retire working in dentistry. I had big goals and dreams for myself working within that practice. I was willing to do whatever was asked of me, whether it was work 12hr days plus time at home 5days a week, leave my family vacations early, skip events, etc. I didn't see that it was a huge issue within my marriage.
However, once I was let go... I felt horribly lost for a few weeks. But then it was as if a huge weight was lifted. I was the happiest I had been in YEARS. I felt free for the first time in a very long time. It was amazing, and honestly, losing that job did amazing things for my overall self esteem. However, it took a few months for me to fully see the gift it was, rather than see it as a deterrent.
*Both of these events had forced me to live at home, and for much longer than I had planned. It was just me and my mom and stepdad for a while. Living under 1 roof again was a daily struggle for us at times, and I have to say it was not easy to get a long some days. I hated being at odds with my parents.
So there it is. Why I think 25 was the hardest age for me. But as I said, those struggles made me a stronger woman overall. Yes, it scarred me in some ways, but it also shaped me in some pretty amazing ways.
What was your hardest age?
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